It is unfair how we grow, Yearning to love, That the one we choose to cherish, Loves us back in the same measure.
It is unfair how life tricks us, When we think we found the bond, That would make our being strong, Like the ancient rocks from inception.
It is unfair when we take that courageous step, But then, faced with rejection, After grooming our hearts, Only to adore and respect that one person.
It is unfair how we are served, dejection, rejection, and regret, Convinced we are not good enough, To love and be loved.
It is unfair when our thoughts are squashed wrong, When another heart craves for our attention, But we also end up wrecking it, Because we are infected by the unfair disease.
It is unfair that we ain’t fair, It is unfair love isn’t fair, It is unfair life isn’t fair, It is unfair nothing is fair.
I’ve seen dozens of beautiful marriages, My detective eyes have beheld a thousand beauties, And all these got me thinking one night; How long I needed to pluck a rose.
I needed nothing more than determination, I’d thought, Freely allowing my cerebrum to kindle a beautiful plan, As my hippocampus, neocortex, and amygdala were quick to record, The fantastic plot I’d come up with.
I left when no one was watching, Hitting the road leading to the ‘home of love’, Where two are bounded to become one, With the sticky bond of emotions.
The night came beating cold, And the day beating hot, But my heart kept beating soft, And my enthusiasm beating bold.
Until I arrived at the entrance of the other world, I didn’t think of taking a break, To wash my soiled feet, Or take a dab sleep.
I looked through the gate, Which had no one to man, Looking huge and strong, Bagging the shape of a heart.
I adjusted my drenched jacket, Walked in like every other journeyer, Surveying the gorgeous and fascinating attributes therein, Before finding a narrow queue where everybody fell into.
I drifted my legs towards the queue, Trying to make out the event, All I saw was an angel, Making every Two into one.
The exercise sent a boost to my oxytocin, But I was quick to tame my impatience, Waiting for my turn like the others, To be cuffed to the twin of my heart.
It was eventually my turn, To be crowned for my bravery, With a maiden of real beaut, By the aged angel of love.
But it all came as a shock, When I was deprived of a union, With the one I sought, From many miles away.
I was told to be patient, Because I was running a race, Faster than my two legs could go, Which might cost me a lifetime.
Although I had the intention of selling those food items and drinks bit by bit to the shops nearby who don’t get disturbed by the security forces. Adeola and Kunle had suggested that the birthday party holds after the lockdown had been lifted. I didn’t tell them of my intention to sell, and I don’t think I could.
In fact, I must confess that I have gotten over it, and I’m doing well. I still have some cash, so I don’t need to touch the money in my account yet. The big story is that one evening, I felt like taking garri, but unfortunately, the poor man had finished almost every provision in the house. I stared at the empty containers of milk, sugar and that of my local biscuit, kulikuli.
I’m the type who gets my provision from supermarkets in large quantities, but since they are closed, I had no choice but to get them outside from one of those small shops. The owner of the shop I went to is a youlg lady, who would always greet me anytime I drove by. As I stood right there in front of the shop for the first time, her smile was the first thing I noticed. Corona don spoil man’s rep. I smiled back, and we exchanged pleasantries.
I noticed there was a fair lady in the shop, and that was the first time I was seeing her. She greeted me, and I returned it with a smile. I got what I wanted and went my way. It surprised me that I could buy something from a small shop in my area. I must tell you I enjoyed the garri, and I wish I could say it was delicious, but you’d ask questions. So, I’m not saying that.
The following day, I still had to go out to get maggi, ordinary maggi for the rice I wanted to cook. Again, I met this fair lady in the shop. She greeted again, while I nodded my head. For some seconds, I was staring, but before anyone noticed it, my eyes were off her. I don’t know how it happened, I was seeing her for the second time, but my fall was ordained to happen on our second meeting.
The lady selling gave me the maggi and I quickly beat my feet upon the ground, heading straight to my apartment. I wondered what was happening, it was all like magic, and if someone had told be I was enchanted, I would have believed and consulted my pastor immediately. But since I have not committed myself to any relationship, I took to remain where I fell. Maybe it was time for something new to kindle in my life.
32 years of age no be shereshere na. I had everything planned out, and all my heart expected from my head was an execution. At first, I sat down to be sure if that was what I wanted. A girl who is always outside talking? What would she be doing there? Gossiping! Well, I could not help it. I was drowning in the pool of love.
I needed nothing that night, but I needed to see someone. I went to the usual place, and unfortunately, she was not there. I was pained in the feet. I ordered for some noodles, and because the lady had packed everything, she had to start bringing down some cartons to get to where it was. Just when I left the shop, someone walked past.
The movement was swift and it came with a ‘good evening’. I looked back, and it was she! I quickly greeted her, but could not follow. She was long gone, and I stood there, watched as she entered into her gossip centre. I could not help but regret I went there the time I did. Time still dy, I concluded as I kept walking. The girl must be taken—by me.
‘Lockdown: My Sad Experiences 3’ to be released soon…
I was still planning my birthday party o, when Adeola, one of my female friends called to give me a feedback on the total amount that would be needed to prepare three different delicacies for 40 people.
“500k!”
I exclaimed, when she told me, like I had the money. Money wey I fit use buy two plots of land for Ogbomoso. I told her to tell the caterer she uses, to please, have mercy and try to cut the price, but she said she did already and I had no choice but to transfer the money ASAP. My account was looking empty, as I was sent the balance. She didn’t even call back to say thank you. She just sent me “seen” on WhatsApp. After transferring 500k? Well, that is just by the way.
As I sat down to catch some breath and calm my fast beating heart, Kayode’s call came in. I quickly picked. I made sure my voice was very clear, so he didn’t notice my bad state. He told me he already had an estimation for the drinks and wines, and that made my heart skip. I went silent, unsure of what was coming my way. I wondered if Adeola told him I sent her some money already.
“So, how much are we talking about?” I asked. My mind was actually praying for me.
“Just 600k”
He answered calmly. I wanted to jump on my feet, but as I tried to, I noticed I was already standing. I lost the pretence, and I’m sure he was surprised. I was even angry he added that annoying word “just”.
“Okay.”
I said, as I cut the call quickly. I went tro and fro the house, regretting I did not seek for the help of my middle-class friend’s instead. I wanted something classy, and that was made me engage Kayode and Adeola. I sat down, stared at my balance, thought of what would become of me after the whole birthday party. Finally, got the consolation I needed. I thought I would recover in few weeks, since I was already having ‘handy’ customers patronizing me, and that’s all thanks to Kayode. He made sure he connected me to the right people.
The following week, 29th of March, I decided to call my tailor in the evening. What is the essence of spending so much on a party without a good outfit? He told me he was already sewing my agbada, and assured me, that I would love it. The call had ended well, as I transferred his 100k to him, just to be sure the rest of my chicken change was mine. It was already a week to my birthday, and I could not help but think of how successful it would be. I’ve had countless of birthdays in my dreams, and having it in reality would make it an achievement.
I decided to go to the sitting room to chill out. I was watching this Igbo movie, and it was becoming annoying, so I changed it to Channels Television.
“Nollywood sha.” I whispered to myself, as I hissed.
I was surprised to find Bubu addressing Nigerians on the issue of COVID-19 on the television. I didn’t even know he would be saying something. I just stared, waiting for him to give the speech Nigerians have been longing for. Right there, I heard him say something like “lockdown”. I was still staring, until my brain slapped my skull.
“Two weeks lockdown?” I asked myself. I wanted to rewind his speech, but it was impossible. I gave it all my concentration as I listened, hoping he would repeat the statement. Fortunately, but unfortunately, he did. My eyes almost popped out of their sockets. I prayed I was in one of my dreams, but it was a damn reality! No birthday party? I sat there, wishing I did not even send the tailor his money.
I could not call Kunle and Adeola for a refund, since they already got the items needed for the party. I was still thinking of the next action to take, when ‘NEPA’ ceased the power supply. Mighty rain of water ran over my face from my head. I checked the last message from the bank, and it was not encouraging at all. How do I live on 57k throughout the lockdown? I foresaw the extension, but I prayed against it. The business I hoped to recover my ‘losses’ from was on hold automatically. I just remained on the sofa, almost crying.
‘Lockdown: My Sad Experiences 2’ to be released soon…
Love yourself first people say,
Love your neighbour as yourself the Bible preaches,
But neither my neighbour nor myself do I love,
Which makes it no sin.
My life has been on a hold,
Everyday passes with no hope,
Yet many expect some hospitality,
Even from the one who has no home.
I know I am crazy,
And I don’t pray I get well,
This life is worth nothing,
Not its possessors deserve a thing.
I just pray I don’t get misjudged in the afterworld,
The way I feel is not my decision,
It is more of a curse than a choice,
Something I can’t really battle from within.
P.Lord Shelf 